Progress [or not]

Well its been a few weeks :)
Some changes have taken place, some havent.

But lets start with those that have:
ive quit smoking.
Been going without champix for over two months now - and despite the brief moments of weakness (of which all have been overcome so far) :)

Ive had to cut down on the paintball, i lack the time and cash at the moment:
ive actually noticed different spending patterns, and the costs of my life have recently gone up :/

What else... Well - despite what ive believed so far - it seems that i have at least one reader :P

Lets see, what else, what else...
Ive moved all my photos to picasaweb, so if you guys want to watch any of them: http://picasaweb.google.com/landrzejak :)

Ah, the dancing !
Its going pretty good, thou not as good as i would want to :(
Im just not good enough, despite my best efforts.

Also - im back to school :)
And im convinced even more then i was before that its a totall waste of time and money :/
Sadly - its mostly about the waste of time - i have so little of it as it is, and here i have to go to school and waste it listening to stuff that i will never need.
I cant wait for the drafts to stop - its supposed to be somewhere next year.

What else....
Well - there is the whole game thing.
The boy-girl game ive been playing with a nice friend(ly girl :P).
Well, i have to tell you girls:
its a pain.
Its always worrying when youve worked on something for over a couple of monts, and you see no effects.
Girls - a tip, if you say that you refuse to go if you dont pay for yourself, that can easily be interpreted as saying 'we can go out, but not on a date'.
Also girls, remember - if you make the guy run after you for too long, he might die of exhaustion. Im pretty close to that myself.
The shitty thing is that i truly believe its in some part my fault. Maybe asking her out to the cinema and letting here chose the movie wasnt a clear indication of 'this is a date'.
Maybe all those other things i do arent a clear indication that im interested in her.
Maybe this is one of those 'the flirt is nice, but im not intersted in anything more' kind of things ?
Maybe im not devoting enough time ? If that is the reason - then there is no hope for me at all.
I just dont have the time, and im beggining to think thats one of the main problems.

Then again there is always the most probable, and simplest explanation:
i just dont know how to pick up girls.
Make them feel that im interested, and make them feel interested in me.
Its one of those social interactions i dont deal too well with.
The ones i dont understand nor controll - so i cant really induce it, can i ?

Either way, when i see no movement on the other side of the game field, the ball isnt thrown back, after a while i assume that she's left.
Its been fun, but now i want to see some interest.
Its supposed to be a two way thing anyway, so if its single sided now, i might as well just skip the middleman and get to being just friends.
The resolution i declared a while ago still stands. I dont mind being friends with her if it doesnt work out.
Thou i intend not to try anymore with anyone else, im just not cut out for this game.
No point in playing if you keep loosing :)

-----minor update 30008 0021:00-----
well, everything just got a lot clearer.
no intention of playing anymore, ill just stick to being a spectator - at least i dont suck at it :)